NO RESOLUTIONS!!!! Just Goals.

not this year!

I don't want to resolve to do something that I know good and well, that I don't have the intentions to keep up with.

I have decided to make goals.

ONE MONTH INCREMENT

GOALS.

They are small and don't take up a year of my life. 

If I like them I can always add them to the next month's goals.

I'm liking that so much more than trying to conquer the whole mountain.....a little hill is easier to get over.

So here's January's goals:

1. Run @ least 2x a week.

(I like running, so this should be nice)

2. No Sugary Drinks

(I'm not so much of a soda drinker, more of a juice person, but those dang things have so much unnecessary SUGAR)

3. Read scriptures @ least every other day

4. Take 15 min. to myself to meditate.

(Found a book I will read in conjunction with this, The Power of Patience, being Aiden's mom, I need this)

5. Take 20 min to just talk with each son everyday.

(Being that he's first born, Alex will be my buddy tomorrow.)

6. Spend time with David everyday, and tell him why I am grateful for him THAT DAY!

(I think it is important for him to know how much I appreciate him and love him.  He needs to hear and know I pay attention to all the sacrafices he makes for me and our family.----I THINK EVERY MAN NEEDS TO HEAR THAT).

7. Track my spending.

(I'm not a big spender.  I do spend money on crap though.  I think I want to see if I can spend more wisely.)

So there you have it!!!  Next month's goals....and it all begins tomorrow.  YEA!!!!!

I would love to know some of your goals. 

PLEASE click the COMMENT link below and tell me.

Happy New Year!!!!

Christmas Coins

I have read about this happening in the Ensign.  I have heard many testify of this in their talks over the pulpit.  I have NEVER not ONCE seen it happen with my own eyes and felt what the recipients felt from this experience.....

Until NOW...

I have been focusing on serving others and seeing to their needs and worrying less about my on trails.

 I have truly found joy and happiness in doing so.

So many things have happened to us over the past few weeks...many that are just awesome. 

David and I have been really thinking about how we are going to make this work for us and Alex.

I have been working almost 24 hours a day making aprons, jewelry and whatever else I can do for our other site The Rubied Apple to raise funds....

My mind is always going thinking about what more can I do.

Obviously, with upcoming surgery in the very near future (one week til we meet with the neurosurgeon) "Commercialmas" was down played at our house, but luckily we have never been a family where we allowed "Commercialmas" to take over.  The boys got three gifts each, at least one of them was something they wanted.....

Alex, anything REAL and Aiden.....A Swivel Sweeper.

The boys were happy and we, David and I were thrilled.

Life has been moving forward and we have been looking all around us for experiences that would make our life richer and more appreciative for what we have.

I was asked by a friend to teach her lesson at church Sunday.  I was very excited, I have not taught for a long time.  The lesson was Prayer and Promptings.  A talk given by Elder Boyd K. Packer at October's General Conference.  There was a lot to teach in that talk.  I was grateful for the opportunity.

Elder Packer said this, "Learn to pray. Pray often. Pray in your mind, in your heart. Pray on your knees. Prayer is your personal key to heaven. The lock is on your side of the veil. And I have learned to conclude all my prayers with “Thy will be done”

I am learning to appreciate that little phrase.  I know in my heart there is only so much that I can do alone, but the will of the Lord will be done.  I just must have faith that all will be well.

So that leaves me to Sunday night.  I have been working on having new items ready to be posted for sale on The Rubied Apple in the new year, another apron to be exact.  David was checking his work emails and the boys were watching a movie.

Dave and I did not hear the doorbell, but Alex started yelling, "Mom!!!! Mom!!!"  He ran down to Dave and me in the office/craftroom holding a gift bag.  "Mom, the doorbell rang and I answered it and there was no one there, just this bag!"  I didn't think much about.  I just thought oh, someone was still in the Christmas mode and wanted to finish getting their neighbor gifts out.  Alex, handed me the bag and I nearly drop it.  It was SO HEAVY!!

I had not looked in the bag before he handed to me.

Dave and I just stared in amazement at each other and then looked at Alex, who seem to just beam.  "Mom, I looked to see if I could see anyone, and there is no one out there."  I ran up the stairs and threw open the door.  I was sure they has gone, but I wanted to at least see if there were footsteps in the snow to see what direction they may have gone.....

NONE!

My heart is delighted by the sacrifice and generosity of the person, child, family, who thought of us.  We know we are loved by our neighbors.  We know that they could have done something else with their Christmas Coins.  Ironically, Dave and I were having couple scripture study when we decided to read

2 Nephi 9:50-52

50 Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price.

51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.

52 Behold, my beloved brethren, remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts brejoice.

This scripture so humbled us this season.

I am so grateful for the faithfulness we both demonstrate for our children and most importantly to our Father in Heaven, in the importance of paying our tithing.

It says in Malachi and 3 Nephi

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house; and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

I pray that the heart and home of the donator of the Christmas Coins will be forever blessed.

Thank you.

A lesson of humility in a simple scent.

What a great week last week was. I had the best time doing my visiting teaching with my new partner. It was great to visit with each of the ladies we have become friends with. The next day I had the wonderful blessing to see my sister-in-law sealed in the Draper Temple. It was a bittersweet beauty, I so wanted my little niece to have. Her father, my sister-in-law's ex-husband, would not allow her to be sealed. I understand both sides of this issue, but my biased of logic outweighs what her father would like. But, I have made it all okay for myself by rationalizing that she only has a little over 6 years until she can make act on her own choice.

Saturday, I was back at the Draper Temple for an endowment session for a dear friend of mine. I didn't get to participate in her session, but I did do other temple work. One of the best times was the opportunity to be alone in the celestial room. No one was there, just me and a worker, who fell asleep in the serenity of the room. I had a whole half hour to mediate and pray. No disruptions at all. This is what heaven is like. A pure peace. So much light and beauty. I hope I have a chance like that again. And I recommend it highly.

When I came home David was tinkering in the freezing cold of the garage. While I was away he went Christmas shopping for the family. We have over the years been talking about what would we do for a heat source if all power went out and he suggested getting a kerosene heater for such an emergency. I agreed that would be the best option, especially since we do not have a wood burning/pellet stove or fireplace.

A kerosene heater has a unique smell. One of those smells that if you had smelled it in years gone by, you would be flooded with the memories surrounding it.

I had that very experience.

A couple years before hurricane Hugo my family had moved to a house on China Grove Church Rd. in South Charlotte, NC. It was directly across the street from Sterling Elementary. It was a very old house. I remember that my family did not have much and it was sparsely decorated.

There we were living in this house, two women, my great grandmother, my mom and two young girls, my sister Luck and me. I didn't remember why we moved there, until I talked to my sister today. We moved there to escape my father's abuse. We lived in an apartment on the west side before moving to Sterling , that seemed to be fine...so I thought. But, I digress. The house on China Grove Church Rd., did not have a furnace, or gas. I remember my mom had bought a couple of kerosene heaters and placed them strategically throughout the house.

You can imagine how cold it was in the winter time. My sister and I would stand by the heater all the time. I'm sure we smelled of kerosene to everyone, but it was what we had. I remember always having to fill a pot with water and sitting it on top of the heaters so that the boiling would leave some moisture in the air...we boiled eggs on it also.

In that same house, since there was not a gas connection nor was there a connection for an electric stove we cooked all of our meals in the microwave oven and we had a cooler filled with ice to keep milk, eggs, cheese and things like that cool.

Just thinking about those days just humbles me. I never thought about that place until last night.

I called my mother today to thank her for teaching me through those times. It was a hard time. It was a scary time at that. Needless to say, that house was destroyed by hurrican Hugo.  It was condemed and we had to move yet again, this time to a nice condo in Quail Run.  But we moved from there to a housing project called Leafcrest.  Then I moved here....I moved a lot.  I have lived in my current house the longest...getting the itch to build now. :-)

People who think they know me, do not know this part of my history.  Which is funny to me, because I am truely, an open book. Some people see in me what they want and never really see what experiences from my past or how my past has molded me into the person I am today.

I am so grateful for my experiences. I would not exchange having lived in poverty and I am not embarrassed because of it either. This is not to say I would like to go there again...I would not. I am pleased with where I am.

I would not exchange not having the luxuries that my friends had. I am sure I grumbled a little about what I didn't have, I was a teenager, but I am grown now.

I see with different eyes. I feel with a different heart and I hold with different arms. I pray for those who do not have. I pray they can see that which they do have.

I have learned a lesson of humility in a simple scent.

My God, how thou has blessed me.

Random...To Do's

My head needs a vacation. I feel so bombarded with so much to do. My To Do List has a list of its own now.

Get the Christmas shopping done.

Check up on my transfer credits.

Reschedule my classes.

Find a new 5k to train for.

Signup with the Salt Lake Running Company

Setup a meeting with financial aid at the U.

Go and have my MMR shots for the U.

Get the baskets ready for our family Christmas service project.

Finish making the scarves.

Wrap Gifts.

Make sure the neurosurgeon has all of the pictures he needs for Alex's neuro-consult.

Get a new med prescription.

etc.....

When is enough really going to get here!?!

I guess I should be thankful. This just proves that I am needed, loved, appreciated and wanted.

I still need a vacation. I want a vacation really just me and handsome, NO KIDS.

...anybody want to kidsit.???

I am hoping Santa brings me another all day Sanctuary Day-Spa gift certificate. The hydro therapy body polish they offer takes you to another level. UNBELIEVABLE!!! UNBELIEVABLE!

Oh my gosh, just thinking about it made me lose track of what I'm doing here....that's how I know I need a day at the spa again.

I am getting nervous now about meeting with the neurosurgeon. As time ticks a little closer the nerves are getting a little frazzled.

There have been so many good people who are constantly telling me that this will be fine. I hold on to those words so tightly. One lady told me how she knew of a young boy who had to have brain surgery and how they did it as an outpatient surgery and he was home the same day running around and playing.

I don't know about all of that.

So many people friends from the TSA (Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance) facebook group have been so encouraging. There was a lady that wrote to me from Canada that is so wonderful to me. She wrote some really great things that brought peace to my soul as she is dealing with my same situation, but I think her son is bit more severe that Alex.

Tuberous Sclerosis is such a masking kind of disorder. There are those who have this disorder who suffer from severe symptoms. Alex has been blessed and we are immensely grateful that his symptoms are, for the most part, mild. Other than the seizures, you really would not suspect that he has TS. He carries a 3.8 GPA. Plays sports all the time. Soccer & basketball being his addictions of choice. He makes and keeps friends and the silly girls are starting the flock. I WILL BE PUTTING AN END TO THAT. This kid is going to be fine...I tell myself this, I have faith that all will be well.

Aiden, Aiden, Aiden. Why in the world did we give him a name that means fiery. I truly believe people live up to their names and that we should name our children carefully. We made a bad call. This kid makes our home ring. We would probably be the quietest people of the block, but we have our own little noise maker.

He is my reason for changing my degree major from business to psychology, with emphasis on children. I hope this will help me gain an understanding of what makes this kid so defiant. Dave is always saying, he thinks we will have to sign him up for military school....

The Rubied Apple is keeping me busy.  I am adding new things all the time. I just finished 13 pairs of new earrings I have to get posted sometime today.

Busy is my life and I am grateful for it.

Another poem I found from Yesteryears...such youth.

I stand before you as I am

And you love me anyway.

I cry on your shoulder

with a heart broken

and you say, "I'm here my friend, I'm here for you today."

You held my hand to give me strength

and allowed me, for you to do the same.

We've pointed each other toward the stars

and said, "That my friend is our aim."

I close my eyes and remember your smile.

The scent of your hug as the sun shone down.

Of all the joy & beauty there be

I am lucky to have been the reciever

for that smile of strength and hug of joy was there just for me.

We've never really been far apart

Although your there and I'm here

Our friendship has lasted for miles, for years.

And that is what truly makes us near.

You believe in me.

Now I believe in myself

For what we share

Is beyond the world's wealth

I have wondered,

How I did without you by my side.

Than I realize you were always there,

In spirit as my guide.

Now we sit and talk and talk some more

Time escapes us than it's late

We talk of the present, the future

And yesteryears when we were "The Great."

I know I am lucky

to have you in my life

To enjoy the happy moments with me

And help me through the strife.

I love you a lot my friend

You've taught me how to grow.

With you I've learned to enjoy my life.

And never to accept the so-so.

So as we walk the pathway together

I pray you'll always be,

Beside me, my friend, forever.

That is my dream for "We."

Our Christmas Cards

Yes, I designed these.  It was so fun.  And they are already in the mail. 

...this is Nakia, you're talking about.  I had the design done back in August along with several other versions.  These were just the ones that made the cut and to my publisher.

We (ok "I") wanted a tri-fold this year.

(outside)

(inside)

But I also designed a more economical 5x7 front & back version of this card.

If you are interested in having some cards designed ...

It's not to late!!

I have several templates to chose from

HERE.

Added some NEW stuff to the Apple

There is nothing so sweet as when your little one wants to help you in the kitchen.

...and in this cute little apron just her size she bound to help more often.

"Pretty Pink Lady I"

Pretty Pink Lady I $10.00

"Pretty Pink Lady II"

Pretty Pink Lady II with rick rack accent $10.00

Also NEW!!

A pair of BEAUTIFUL pink snowflake drop earrings

&

a pair of GORGEOUS black jet glass drop earrings with natural shell beads

Earrings

019-Pink 10mm Snowflake Lentil $11.00

Earrings

020-8x12mm faceted black jet glass with natural shell beads $11.00

Click HERE to see what else
you can find at
The Rubied Apple

Christmas Letter 2009

What can I say about this past year.  There have been highs and lows, cheers and tears...pretty much like everyone else.

But I will focus on the good.

At the beginning of the year we set out to have a better connection with David's sibilings and some of our other friends so we "tried" to invite each one over for dinner and games.  Intentions were great, but we slacked off a lot and we were really only able to visit with maybe two sets one on one.   The first dinner party we had has to have been our favorite.  David's sister Michelle and her family came.  It was a blast we played twister, danced in the kitchen and just laughed so much. But the other dinners with our friends and family were just as great...I think I liked it because the guys really got into twister...even in dress slacks and such.

This year was also the year of the "Campouts"  It seemed that every weekend was filled with Alex and David camping here and there and everywhere.  They always came back happy that they went.

Most recently David has been finishing up his economics degree at the University of Utah and ironically for the last semester he has been fulfilling his hours with camping classes...cooking camp, backpacking, map and compassing and his last class will be snowshoeing in the high Uintas.

One of our favorite adventures of this year was going on a family roadtrip to Seattle, WA.  We were invited by David's Aunts to spend time with them on their farm it was a blast.  They welcomed us and took such good care of us we were so grateful to have that time.  It was neat to be able to go out and feed Frank and Lula their sheep and the horses.  Aiden go to go out with Aunt Zita and gather eggs from the chickens.  I think I most amazing thing was being out in the pasture with the cows and the bull.  They were so gentle.  We also go to visit with Nakia's former highschool classmate and his family and her former college roomate and her family.

This was so much fun.  We can hardly wait to go back and visit with them again.

After that trip Alex started Jr. High.  Aiden began preshcool.  Dave and I were so excited to see both of the boys headed out to this nex and exciting chapter in their lives. 

Just after the school year started, Alex had a major seizure at school, which has left him with what I think is a permenant bruise on the side of his face.  But after a second major seziure and tests galore, we have learned that Alex's tumors, due to his disorder, have enlarge significantly, causing the increase and serverity of his seizures.  Brain surgery is the recommended solution.

With that little nugget of info we have launched a fundraising site The Rubied Apple.  We started it to help with the medical bills that will result from such a surgery.  Most of items there are donated and/or handmade.  Please check it out, if you can and help if you would like to. 

Nakia has started her schooling back up.  The goal is to complete her Bachelors degree in psycology or sociology in the next year and a half.  David is very supportive of her doing so.  He would like her to go full-time, but we will see.  The boys' needs will determine that.

Nakia did something amazing for herself.  Just this past November, she participated in our communities Turkey Trot 5k.  She ran/walked the 3.1 mile course with her bestfriend and if you know Nakia, you know she had to make a new friend on the way to the finish. 

You can read about that HERE.

She liked it so much she is preparing for the Canyonlands Half Marathon with her friends through adoption.

We have had a great year full of everything.  And we have loved it.  It has been hard, but we have learned a lot from all that has come our way.  We feel that this years motto was spoken to eloquently by Elder Wirthlin.

"Come what may, and love it!"

Merrry Christmas

Tears for my HAIR

I haven't seen this movie, but just this trailer almost makes me cry.

I have a deepseated

Hate

relationship with my hair. Always have!!

I am the typical African American, Black, Woman of Color....chose your label...

I have had the weave...

and on more than a few occasions the braids/extentions

and yes proudly all the way down to the BUTT...

Let us not forget when HATE turned into self-inflicted hair mutilation...

(which only took/takes place in the quiet secret of the night, but awakened to confused screams of

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!")...

Then there are the many opportunities when I have indulged in

"Creamy Crack"

Now I am at a loss.  I have now abandon all the above and resorted to the state of the

headscarf.

It's bad people. 

I am now shopping for scarves that match various outfits. 

So what do you do?  People have said, "Go to the salon."

What those very right voices utter, lack a great deal of understanding on....

*Where I live: Salt Lake City, which I love and hopefully will never have to leave, but....

  The populus is not in my hair's favor.

*Economical Hardship: When you live in a place where you are in a large minority, price gouging is rampant.  What I can have done with my hair at home (meaning NC) is roughly 3 times less or in some cases even less than here.

I called up a salon (who will remain nameless, since most people go to it here) and asked  them to price out having my hair braided with extentions just to my shoulders.... $1500.00.

I have had this same thing done at home for as little as $55.00

That little failed negoiation has lead me to doing it for myself.

I will say, when left to your own devices you learn and become creative.

Now I am at a crossroads of what to do with what little hair I have. 

*Do I do another shave...hubby has already marked that one off.

*Go and get another hit of "Creamy Crack"

*Braid the little leftover strands from previous damage (my fault) 

I am at a loss....

SO I SIT HERE IN FRONT OF THIS MONITOR...

hair standing at attention atop my head.  Wondering what scraf will adorn it today. 

...the problem is, I don't have anything to go with this particular outfit. 

D$%#!

Uuuuggghh

You know that feeling when the pit of your stomach

feels like the bottom is about to give out.

That's what I feel right now.

...not really sure why.

I'm having the hardest time concentrating on the task at hand and my mind is laden with worries.

Rubied Apple GIVEAWAY!

All cards are delivered to you digitally, so you can print them off yourself and save some money.

And TWO people will be winners!!

Click here to learn more.

Please pass a HUGE helping of ACCOMPLISHMENT

I am not a runner....barely a walker, but I wanted to do this for me.

When I showed up to the start line, I will admit I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were already there.

I secretly hoped that Brandi and me

would be the only two people there.

But of course that was only empty hopes.

I looked around me and saw  A LOT of little people.

(skinny, little people in skimpy shorts and tiny little shirts....

 IN 30 DEGREE TEMPS)

All I could think was, "Bless their hearts."

I showed up in thermal underwear, two bras, a longsleeve underarmour top, a snug t-shirt over that and a winter vest....

( Froze my butt off)

I kept repeating "Why am I doing this?" over and over.

I was intimidated. 

I was admittedly embarrassed, by my body type, thinking how I would stack up to the other runners.

But I was there, NOW!!

They gave me my packet and I went back to my van to see what was all in it. But the first thing I noticed was...

"What the flip?"

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I did NOT want to be associated with that number in anyway.  It screamed at me, "LOSER" and everyone would know it.  My fear was happening right before my eyes.

Ever hear...

"The first shall be last and the last shall be first."

That was all I could hear and see in my head.

I hurried back to the table and timidly asked if there was way for me to get another number. NOPE!

I was stuck.

So I zipped up my vest and that number was never seen again until the end of the trot.

The race started and I siked myself out of keeping on with my friend.  She was good and I am not one to hold someone else back from their own personal accomplishment so I stopped running and told her to go on.  I know she would have stopped with me if I asked her to.

I think...no, I know I needed to do this BY MYSELF to really know that I could do this.

I didn't have my IPOD, which would have been awesome, but I found my own cadence.

That worked for me.

I will admit, I did walk some the course, but that didn't matter to me.

I met a neat girl who was walking the course and we talked and got to know each other.  It was awesome to share this expierence with someone who was like me, a novice.

But we were there!! & Doing it!!

We both realized that it wasn't where we finished in the race, but that we finished.

This had nothing to do with who we beat or anything like that.

This was about, us (ME) finishing and owning this earned accomplishment.

As we turned the corner heading for the finish, I convinced her that we had to run it in.  She didn't want to do, but I told her we could and would do it together.

 

It was awesome coming in!!!

Having all those people cheering was just AWESOME!!

I beat my own time!!! and....

I WAS NOT LAST!!!

The funny part of it all was, although I had hidden my number from the world....

The world knew I was

#1.

I am such a beloved daugther of Heavenly Father.

I am so thankful for this

HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT.

Today is Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for everything and the specific following:

• 
  
  my David
  
  
  
• 
  
  my Alex
  
  
  
• 
  
  my Aiden
  
  
  
• 
  
  my life
  
  
  
• 
  
  my testimony
  
  
  
• 
  
  my faith
  
  
  
• 
  
  my health
  
  
  
• 
  
  my friends
  
  
  
• 
  
  my family
  
  
  
• 
  
  YOU & most importantly
  
  
  
• 
  
  my relationship with my Father in Heaven.
  
  
  

Feeling blessed

I don't know what to say.

Since I have begun advocating to help my son

something is happening to US.

So many people are coming to our aide

either by buying products from The Rubied Apple, or

giving generously monetarily to Alex's Surgery, or even donating items for us to sell at the Apple....

I have seen the heart of many and am so excited and humbled to see the hearts of more.

This a blessed time for us and we are cherishing every moment.  I am doing all I can to have new ideas to help our cause. 

I have attended the temple more this year than I can remember.  I have felt the peace of a loving Father in Heaven and a confirmation that he is pleased with my actions. 

Even when I helped clean the temple, the peace was there.

Alex has been so amazing.  He is upbeat and carefree...

He tells me often, "Mom, it's gong to be fine."

I am blessed beyond measure with love, devotion, kindness, care, charity, humility and more.

Thank you to all of you who have helped, are helping and will help.

We love you.

The TIME has come.

Nov. 21st.

8 AM

projected temps: 39 degrees

conditions:  SNOWY

Everything is all set the course is ready and I'm NOT!!

But I have made a committment to myself,

therefore it shall be done.

Cheer me on!!!

(gotta go, I have to put a few miles on these shoes...they haven't ran in two weeks...I'm gonna DIE!)

Feeling Joy

Joy fills me.

I have been bummed for far too long.

I am putting myself full force into raising money for Alex's surgery.

If you want ot help us, by making a monetary donation (thank you, to those who have done that, it is so appreciated), buying something from the Rubied Apple, telling your friends and family about the Apple, right now I am planning on making sweet potato pies and if you would like to buy one that would be AWESOME!

I have been finding my peace in my efforts to help our son.

He is truely a gift.

So I know that what I am doing is right.  I am feeling joy.

And it feels good.