Tell me which is your favorite

I rarely take pictures...which is so ironic since I am a photographer. I actually hate pictures of myself. I look horrible in all of them.
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Anyway this week has been a really lonesome week for me. David and Alex are at a scout camp up at Bear Lake and I am here with Aiden. We have had some fun, but I really miss the rest of my family.
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Well, today Aiden did his thing and I thought I would be a little girlie, (this is a rare opportunity, I am out numbered here). Sooooo...
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I dressed in white, put on about 5 coats of makeup, set up my camera and took pictures of myself. It was pretty difficult, but in the end it was fun....

Now is an chance for you to tell me what to do.

(this is the only time this will ever happen, so don't even get used to it.)

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Leave a comment below at the end of the pics telling which is your favorite and why and the picture with the most comments here on my blog will be used as my new picture on FACEBOOK.

This is just for fun and you can be anonymous if you want. Just have fun with this.

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Be kind, you gotta remember I just took these today, by myself no help.

SOOOO ANGRY!!

Over the past couple of months, I have been dealing with a close family member's serious health issue, not my own (I needed to add that because I am getting a lot of worried people coming at me) and I guess I am going through the different stages of grief at the news.
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BREAST CANCER!!

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Just typing it here makes me weep :-{

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What am I suppose to do? Life is short enough, but to have a illness that will kill you and do nothing, just seems irresponsible and selfish, but that is the reality of now.

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I can't imagine not being with my family here. I can't imagine my children being without their mother, my husband being with out his companion. I just can't imagine.

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IT SCARES ME!

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AND TO DO NOTHING is a death sentence and IS JUST PLAIN STUPID!!!

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I am so angry. I used to be sad and worried for my sister. So very sad for my mother. Sad and worried for my entire family, but now I am just so angry!!

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Many have said leave this in the hands of God.

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I have appealed to Him so much, I have fasted and will do more fasting.

I just need and want peace now.

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I can't write anymore...I am beside myself with sadness.

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TIME that is all we all have to give.

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What do I do now how am I suppose to help?

This is the truth!!! It looks long, but a very quick read.

I've already posted today, but my cousin sent this to me and I just connected with it so much that I needed to share it with all of you.
I hope you like it.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

1930's, 40's, 50's,

60's and 70's!!


First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps
not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle..

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this..

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing....that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on...

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,no cell phones,
no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?
~
The quote of the month is by

Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

....Grateful Heart

I told you Dave and I have been in hot pursuit of some new digs. Well, in all of this we have been presented with some really great investment offers/opportunities.
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I was so excited just over the idea of a "new house" that I became nearly unbearable to live with. At least that is what David says. I did get to the point that I was so upset because he did not share my enthusiasm, I just buried my feelings about the subject and gave the ever effective (NOT) "silent treatment."

After I humbled myself I listened with a calmer spirit, heart and mind I began to allow things to mature like a "fine wine" as they say. Well, David noticed that I did not talk so much about moving like I had in the past that it allowed him to feel his way around the idea. Well, here what happened to him.

One day we were doing our monthly trek to his parents home in South Jordan and we drove the "back way" on US-111. Keep in mind this is the prime spot where David and repeatedly said, "if they ever build on these benches (Oquirrh Mountain) back here, we are going to sell and buy here." Dave had it narrowed down to the exact location....Low and behold, there is a developer who is building large homes on his very mountain.!!! He was beside himself. He began to act like I had. Gave me orders to contact the builder and meet with them ASAP. I did, but I was so apprehensive...didn't want to get the old dander up.
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The development is beautiful and the model home I toured was awesome. The price unbeatable and unbelievable. 4000+ sq ft. for $235K. I came back from the meeting gave him the info and he was fired up. He wanted to hand over everything, but like I said I had humble myself and talked him down.
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We vacillated back and forth for a month. Considered buying 2 acres in Stockton, UT and build later. Stay where we are. Back and forth, forth and back it got sickening.
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We really needed to decide, and I thought we had but Dave got nightmares about us missing out on this really once in a lifetime opportunity and had to talk to the builder himself. There again he was ready to sign everything over. Again I kept a cool head and laid out the facts. When it all boiled down, now is not the right time, even if that was the right place.
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I have come to the conclusion that we really have all we need. No our home is not the spacious dream house I have always envisioned.

But in our 2000 sq ft. we have more than most.

We have a mortgage that renters can't even get for a one-bedroom apartment these days, let alone a a fully remodeled 4 bedroom, 2 bath home. We get to enjoy fruit from our own trees, vegetables from our garden, the closeness of neighbors and friends. And the ability to be able to afford some of the other perks that living in our current home has brought.

I have a grateful heart.

I am truly thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing us with such wonderful temporal blessings. I am doubly grateful for my testimony of the law of tithing. I know that we have been blessed because of our obedience to that law. It is hard sometimes when there is a bill that must have attention, but we have always opted to pay the Lord is tithe first and have faith that all will work out...and it has.

I am so grateful that Dave and I have each other. We are one anothers balance. We need each other and we know it. I love him. I love him so much. He loves me and I feel it in all he says and does.
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The pictures above are of our home and the Oquirrhs. As you can see we really have a nice place to rest our weary bones....and really isn't that more than we need, anyway?

Genealogy and Pioneers

Every year at this time Utah celebrates "Pioneer Day". It usually comes with a week long celebration, that includes western themed activities like a Rodeo. But we also have a big ole parade and a marathon. But that is not what intrigues me.

I am a history buff. I love to learn about the past. I think that is because I really believe in my core that who we are (personalities, characteristics, quirks) is in direct correlation to who our ancestors were.

My own genealogy is very colorful...


My tree is a hard tree to climb, but whom I have found has
been wonderful to learn about.

My family search has allowed me to learn who my family was. I have been able to reconnect to members of my family that I would have never met (thanks to the internet and love of genealogy).

For me it is so important to learn of these people. For instance, I have always known that my family had a Cherokee Indian back ground, but I have never had a picture or my ancestor that I knew who was Indian until I sent a message to a woman who was looking for more information on the same family. She had pictures, I had information. I found a whole another set of family members.

The picture she had was of my great great grandmother, Hannah Cherry Johnson Garland. She is on my paternal line. Mother to my great grandfather Cherry Johnson, father to my grandfather Clarence Johnson, father of my dad Larry James Jackson, whose mother never married Clarence.

I have learned a lot about myself through the histories of my ancestors. Like, I am very resilient and resourceful. Making me a pioneer of sorts.

I have had challenges in my life that some would not only crack but fall into to many pieces.

One of my experience I reflect fondly on is my "trek" to Utah. I was only 18 years old. I had never been further than Chicago and there I was a newly graduated, naive girl, on a Greyhound bus headed to a place I knew NOTHING about. All I had was an army bag that contained all I owned and when I got to Salt Lake City, in the cover of night all the money I had amounted to just about $20.00. I didn't have a job lined up and I ended up sleeping on the floor of the girlfriend's house of a former missionary who served in Charlotte, before I could get into my dorm.

That was challenging, but I'm here!!

I said, "I will see you later." to two sons, Jackson and Andrew.

That was challenging, but I'm here!!

I have to deal with Alex's tumors.

That is challenging, but I'm here!!

All of those times, however challenging has made me the woman I am today. They will also effect posterity for years to come. I hope my life is one my posterity can learn from.

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I have many stories in my journals, that I hope will be cherished.

They are full of colorful people who have been in my life who also shaped me.

And I can tell you it is not a journal of pretty tales.

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They are tales people and events that will not see the light of day for many years.

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Thank goodness I will be good and dead when it all comes to light.

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But hopefully my "children" will learn from my mistakes and triumphs.

...and the WINNER is!! no poll needed

~~~~~~~~Ava Syree~~~~~~~~

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Ok everyone, I called my Pawpaw and Cynthia and gave the list of names.

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They liked a few of them to my surprise. But when I said," Ava Syree" my dad kept repeating, " Ooooh I like that, but I can still call her Lady Bug, right?"

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I had to give in somewhere. :-)

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Cynthia really liked the name also. I think I am sorta proud that my middle name is somewhere in there. I like my middle name. It means princess. Now I get to share it.

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I'm glad they chose an "A" name....I think we will end up with her sooner or later and since we have "A's" that will work well.

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So on November 20th is the due date and hopefully all will be well and we can all welcome to our rock.

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~~~~~~Ava Syree Jackson~~~~~~

My Bucket List

First things First

thank you so much for the names. I will make a poll soon. I at least want to run a couple of those by my dad and his lady friend.

But if you still have names LET me know!!!

Email it to : armstrong4family@yahoo.com

for my anonymous friends

you can still submit you names here, just click comment below and select anonymous. I will still get your suggest, but you will remain a mystery to me.

Oh by the way, Anonymous, thank you for the suggestion of Ava Syree. I appreciate you liking my middle name, it is different. I do get a lot of compliments on it...maybe I should share it. I don't know anyone else who has either.

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I have been a great deal of reflecting and wondering about what I would like to do before the end comes.

There was a movie (which still have not seen, we tend to not go to a lot of movies, although we want to see so many, but I digress.) called The Bucket List. I believe it stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Two of the best I have ever seen. Love them!! Anyway, the premise is two friends who are getting ready to die (I think) and they decided to create a list of the things they would like to to do before they die and then set out and accomplish them. I think that is a great idea!! I did not/do not think that that is as morbid as some might think.

So in honor of them and the idea I took a couple days and pondered on my own bucket list.

I realized something, but I'll tell you at the end.

My Bucket List

These are in no particular order at all!

• Spend a week in Dubai, UAE
• Roll down a hill in Ireland
• Build our dream house.-this is actually getting close, found some land!!
• Mend broken friendships- there are two I know of. (and it still baffles us why they are broken, but what do you do when they won't speak to you...give em' time.)
• Learn to dance the Argentine Tango or the Paso Doble properly.
• Redo my bridal & wedding pictures.
• Go on a cruise with friends
• Swim naked in the ocean
• Spend an hour learning from Warren Buffet
• Renew my fluency in Spanish
• Sleep on the beach in Carlsbad, CA
• Run a marathon with a friend
• Dance in the rain
• Visit at least one temple in each of the 50 United States.- so far I've gotten to Atlanta, Georgia, Utah (several), DC (but really Maryland), San Diego, CA
• Serve a mission
• Take Alex to his dream country, Italy

Everything I listed is something "to do" or time related. It only impresses upon me the importance of TIME. Spend time together with loved ones. Spend time with friends. Say those things that matter like,

It is so good to hear from you.

I'm sorry.

How can I help?

You are my friend and I love you.

Honey, you're the best.

You make me smile.

I am so grateful to all of you, my friends and family. I love you all so much. I hope that I have not offended any of you and that if I have, you can forgive me. Hopefully, many of the things on my bucket list will have you by my side to enjoy the journey. After all I do remember Elder Wirthlin say:

Enjoy the Journey!!

and I intend to.

so make your own bucket list and make sure they are not just goals, but things you can really make a memory of...and don't forget you've gotta

DO IT!!!

What's in a name?

A couple of months ago my dad called me out of the blue. I was shocked!!! You have to know my dad and I are in a budding relationship and I have had to do A LOT of forgiving, nevertheless a relationship is growing and strengthening. And he has NEVER, not once called me. Anyway, he dropped a bomb on me.

Nakia: Hello.

Pawpaw: Hey Nee baby, this is Pawpaw! (Very jovial)

Nakia: Yes Sir.
(You have to know that my father has always commanded formality when talking to him, answering questions, how you respond to him when he called your name...all of this was very formal and even at 34 years old, I find myself still addressing all conversations with the man as if I am still that little girl.)

Pawpaw: "Nee baby (that's my nickname), Paw Paw is having a baby."

This news is followed by a kind of look what I did laugh. I didn't say anything. Nothing. After a bit, I gave a polite, "Excuse me sir, what did you say?" He repeated himself and continuing on with, you are the first person that I've told. I was shocked and asked him, "Sir, what do you want me to say?" He just laughed.

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This man is 58 years old! Not in the greatest of health! On a fixed income! And he has a baby on the way!!! He doesn't want to marry the mother of this child. I don't even know how to deal with that alone. But I understand his point. My father has been married 5 or 6 times, I'm not sure, so for him to say no he doesn't want to marry again, well, I guess he's matured, maybe...There are still so many issues to deal with here, but the situation is what it is.

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Over the last few weeks, I have had a chance to talk with his "lady friend" and I have grilled her on the specifics of all of this. She graciously and with poise answered all of my questions. She and my father have given me a task of naming my new little sister (gosh, that sounds so strange).

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This came as a welcomed surprise (and you'll know why in a minute) after my dad proudly announce to me that he was going to name her, Sundae Cream. OH HECK NO!!!!! I screamed into the receiver of my phone. All formality went right out the window. I told him that I would remove myself from his life, if he dared curse that child with a STRIPPER name. I had to explain to him what that poor child is going to have to deal with and he had no right put that kind of curse of her.

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Now he's trying to get me to go with the name "Lady Bug Jackson." What is wrong with the man?

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I have been trying to convince him of going with a family name. I have a whole bunch of them in my genealogy, but for heaven's sake NO Sundae Cream.

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Here's where you come in friends....I'd like to compile a list of some nice, respectable, fits well with Jackson, names for a little girl. I need your help.

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Below you see the word "COMMENT" click it. Tell me your idea of a girl name.

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I only ask that you think about it carefully.

No names that are:

hard to say

hard to spell

can be made fun of

or

that has to be explained everytime, everywhere

(trust me on this one, I have nearly 35 years of expierence with the "Nakia")

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This blog is open to everyone, so tell your friends, I need some help here. Send them a link. You as well as they can even leave the name anonymously, so I won't even know who you are, just leave a name.

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE IT ON FACEBOOK.

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Depending on how many names I get I will have a poll. The baby's due in November.

So please help me name my baby sister.

First name I have:

Hannah Mariah- a family name.

Rummaging Through Time

I love to declutter and so I started with pictures. OH MY HEAVENS TO BETSY!!! (My mom still says that). The laughs I had at looking at how goofy I was and to some sad degree still am. Here are some pics from my past.

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All I can remember from this is HOT!! & Sandfleas!!!

Can ya find me huh, can ya can ya can ya? I will have to admit NJROTC was so fun!!! Being an officer was the BEST!!

My first set of roommates at college (1993). I learned a lot that year. "My Girls" open my eyes to some pretty interesting stuff. It was fun nonetheless. I love them all.

The next few pics are just us being us.

The next two pictures are those that you hope never come back to haunt you.

This first picture I just LAUGH MY BEHIND OFF, every time I get a little glimpse of it. I found that dress at the Goodwill for $8.00. I needed a dress for the ROTC Ball and it was senior year, so I had to go out with an unforgettable number. Here's a little secret...it looks like the dress was really that short in the front...NOPE!! The front of the dress is stuffed into my pantyhose...I told you I was goofball.

I still love this picture (1991 or 1992). My sister or was it my mom and me, I can't remember, we were playing around...but anyway, this was my bed sheet that I wrapped myself in. One of my more beautiful portraits. I think I will have to try that again. Dang I'm hot!!

Will the "real me", please stand up!

I have been getting ready for my philosophy class that I will be taking this fall and I came across a letter written by William James, a philosopher. He had written it to his wife. Here is an excerpt:

"I have often thought that the best way to define a man's character would be to seek out the particular mental or moral attitude in which, when it came upon him, he felt himself most deeply and intensely active and alive. At such moments there is a voice inside which speaks and says: "This is the real me!""

Being positive seems to be the "real me!" I love being positive. Life is so short. To be sad and miserable all the time, or even more than 30% of the time, well, just is not the real me.

I will say I have for the most part, I have been happy all my life. I have accomplished more than I thought I would. I am blessed to have been sealed through the eternities to a man, who is not perfect (but neither am I), who for the most part has made me happy and fulfilled. The challenges of motherhood can be daunting, but I have been blessed to be a mother nonetheless.

Now my life has not been lollipops and roses. I have had my struggles. I have had to say goodbye to ♥two precious sons♥. I have had to deal with heart wrenching life and death choices & moral decisions. Health crisis' and the the bad list can go on, but why should it?

The good things I have enjoyed in my life significantly out weigh the bad stuff.

• I have enjoyed the comforting embrace of my loving supportive rock of a husband.
• The spontaneous sweet (and juicy) kisses of my four-year old baby.
• The gentlemanly arm of my pre-teen son displaying his respect for me and all women.
• The welcoming words and deeds of my inlaws.
• The warm laughs of my friends
• The forgiving and understand hearts of those I have wronged and have asked forgiveness of.
• Those who have sought my forgiveness and have allowed me to be their friend once more.

and I can go on and on.

There is no reason I should not be positive. I am happy and I feel I will smile all the while.

"This is the real me!!"

Thorpe Family Reunion

Click here to see this and the other remaing pictures.

There aren't a whole lot, but the family groups are there and a few individuals.

Memories

I posted this on my Facebook page and here are some of the responses:

If you read this, even if we don't speak often, post a comment with a memory of you and I. It can be anything you want, either good or bad....

Tia Marie Marlow at 2:57pm July 1
Okay Nakia you will remember this for sure !!! Remember when we worked at Associates and you were clipping your fingernails and I very loudly said from from 4 or 5 pods away,"Who is clipping their fingernails" ??? and you were like I cant believe you can hear that !!!

Gloria East at 3:38pm July 1
The night before you were married, you spent the night with us. Then we were off to the Temple for you to marry David. You were such an exotic bride, everyone was stunned by your beauty. I'll never forget those precious moments.

Nickie Sugden at 4:12pm July 1
HAHA..... I remember Tia's comment too, That was hilarious! So many memories at Associates =-)

Keri Towery Petersen at 4:53pm July 1
I remember that you are a great softball player!

Rex Richardson at 9:30pm July 1
I remember and am still impressed with your story of your beginnings in SLC, UT !

Robyn Runne Miller at 9:54pm July 1
I have only known you for a couple months but I can remember when we spent 4 hours on the phone getting to know each other.

Austin B Christensen at 10:14pm July 1
LDS Business College was a great time.

Angie Sullivan Salisbury at 10:37pm July 1
i remember kim & brett hiding in the attic and you thought there was a homeless person up there. you totally FREAKED out, called the police and then didn't talk to us for a week when we told you it was a joke. PRICELESS!

I really appreciate the memories people have of me, good or bad. They made who I am today. I am going to go through my pictures and post em' of years past and hopefully some of you see some memories of us. Now don't get mad if you don't see something with you in...I'm just lucky to find anything at this point.

Now I ask all of you who read this to click the comment link below and tell me what you remember about you and me. You can remain anonymous if you want. I just want to remember.