Dumb Youth---Poems of the Past

February 23, 1989 (20 Years ago)
“Snow”

Snow is cotton falling from the sky.
So soft so tender and so very light.
It covers the earth, makes it all white.
Trees are filled with snow.
Gives all the forest a wintry glow.
With winds that blow them by & by.
Animals go into sleep.
While others stay out & think how neat.
So if I go outside & see something falling
You know , It’s just old man winter blowin’ up snow.

March 2, 1989 (20 years ago)
“Run”

Open, Open, Open wide.
Let me in so I can hide.
Their after me, after me and they are quick.
So open up because they know I’m slick.
I can hide under a train & I can hide there to
So let me in, they are onto me like glue.

May 9, 1989 (20 years ago)
"Summer Breeze"

Being loved by you
Is a dream come true.
To look into your eyes
As the time passes by
Is like a Summer Breeze.

December, 27, 1989 (20 years ago, almost).
“Possession”

Love me and hold me
Until time expires.
Make me yours, a
Prisoner of love and
Passion. Time does
Not exist when I’m
With you. Let’s start
A relationship that will
Never die. Win the war
And the prize will be
In your
Possession.

June 23, 1993 (17 years ago)

Friends come and friends go
But the true ones stay, no
matter where you go. They
are there when you are down
But what’s better they’re
there to give you that smile.

Friends come and Friends go
But the true ones stay...
In your heart... you know!

There are more, but they are so personal, they will never see the light of day until I am dead.

Fall is coming so that means the blocks are too.

The blocks are making their way back into my routine...so now am I not only making time for this half marathon I am making a little more time for my blocks.

While I am getting this done. I decided to record my feelings about them and what or who the bring to mind (especially since Jane decided to give, most of them have names of people).

D-3 Jason's Jacks
When I saw that this was my next block, immediately, I reflected back on an old friend, whom I no longer get to talk to anymore and most likely never will, but the memories are fond. He joined the military right out of high school, hence the camiflaugedjack. I think he was into the medical part of it. If you turn it 45 degrees it sorta looks like a cross. The medical symbol. Ironically, he worked for the Red Cross. So I guess that is fitting, so I dedicate this block to Jason Murillo. I hope he and his family are well and enjoying much success.

D-1 Alison's Guiding Light
I have a friend who has a daugther who is living with CF. She just recently was released from the hospital and Liz, her mother, is such a guiding force. No her daughter's name is not Alison, but close. No they are not African, but I thought it represented so much strength and life. Only two of many quailties that Liz and her family have.

M-13 Lynette's Diamond
I have cousin in Chicago named Lynette. Growing up, I do remember as children we were not the nicest to her. She was always so kind. I have not heard from that side of my family in many, many years, let alone Lynette. All I can think about now, is what kind of diamond is she. I pray that she is well. Lynette just so happens to be my sister's middle name. This color orange is for her. It is LOUD, just like her.

C-6 Ashley's Aura
I really don't have a story for Ashley's Aura.  Of all my friends, I don't think I know an Ashley...I know, I am doing to here from someone named Ashley.  Sorry. :-(

I love Fall, it is probably my most favorite time of the year.  Cool crisp air, picking peaches off my tree, canning, hot cider, leaves changing colors in the canyons, looking out my kitchen window and seeing the color change on the moutains.  AHHHH, I love Utah in the Fall.  Just doesn't last long enough.

FOR SALE!! Inspirational Posters FOR SALE!!

I have designed the following posters from images from my photography. 
The quotes are what I felt at the time and can be CUSTOMIZED with your favorite saying.

These positve posters are excellent for a college dorm, a childs room, office, etc. 

If you are interested in any of the posters please contact me directly, to discuss pricing and sizes at:

armstrong4family@yahoo.com or 801.250.5194

Click each image to enlarge.

" Beautiful"

" Open the Door"

"Father, do you love me?"

"Water Flow"

"Light Keeper"

My purpose is ME

I have been training for this HUGE undertaking I have agreed to and during my training sessions I have a lot of time to have a "conversation with me." 
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Many of these conversations I have found have really been with my Father in Heaven. Which has been so nice.  My friends have their reason for running. Adoption.  I am very happy they have their purpose.  I want to share that same purpose, because, obviously, I love adoption also, but something is telling me that is not my reason/purpose.

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I told my support group to help me make this happen, the run.  One of them plainly asked, Why are YOU doing this?  That really haulted me for some reason...In the past, I have been quick to say, "My friend asked." or "Adoption."  While inside my heart, I was struggling to have my own reason, my own purpose.
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So the conversation with myself continued, until today. 

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I have for as long as I remember has been what people call, "the good girl."  I never really got in trouble or honestly never got caught doing the wrong things...I did some WRONG things, especially in my youth.  I pretty much did what I was told to do.  I was pushed into a lot of things I did and some I didn't want to do. I had given my power to others...I guess I didn't trust what I could do with it.
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Why am I doing this run?  Why? 
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I need to do this for me.  I need to do this because I want to do it.  Not because someone asked me to.  Not because I am being pressured or pushed by someone else's reason or purpose.  My purpose is ME.  I can't run for anyone, until I run for me first.
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So when the T-shirts come out, and my friends are with their adoption ones, I will probably be the lone one in our group who has a shirt that I will design to say I am running for Nakia Syree Armstrong.
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I appreciate all of your support, friends. I am so grateful for the many emails and comments of encourgement. Even from complete strangers and anonymous bloggers. You have no idea how much I cherish them and keep them in my memory when I hit stages in this where I want to quit.  Thank you.  Please keep sending them. 
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The half marathon is a whole lot to swallow, so I am taking it in little bites.  I am working on the 5K and we will see where I'm going from there. So when March gets here I hope that I am prepared to do the half marathon.  Regardless, I will be in Moab running it or walking it or both.  So again, please don't quit sending those words of encouragement.  I read them daily to give me that little extra boost.
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If you are so inspired, please come and run, walk or both with me.  Find your purpose and use the time to talk with your God and learn more about yourself.  I am.   
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Now the pictures I have chosen for this post inspire me.  From the top. 
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"I know I am never alone and Chirst walks hand in hand with me, and I will gladly follow Him willingly."
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"I have made mistakes in my life, but I have been forgiven and I am forgivable. I can no longer allow others to take advantange of my gifts.  I can't not allow others to push me in directions that are not honorable.  I have a purpose that I don't completely understand how it will be a blessing to my life and the lives of others, but nonetheless it is my purpose.
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"I will be humble for blessings that will be placed upon me.  Because with those blessings comes responsibility. 

The two top pictures above are by artist Greg Olsen.  You can see more of his amazing work at:

http://www.gregolsenart.com/

By the way, what are some of your suggestions for running songs?  I am in the process of building my running playlist and am looking for some really great music to keep me moving.  I already have a few, but could use some more.  Thanks.

The Cover Doesn't Tell You Much so we need to discriminate

This past spring our local library had a book sale.  I had never noticed that they did this before...

but I was intrigued.

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So Aiden and I waited for about 30 minutes to get in on this.
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We found some 'great' books.  All the books we had purchased I had never read nor had I ever heard of the authors.
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One of the books I chose for me had a very old picture (I'm talking 1800's) of a woman.  The title is 98 REASONS FOR BEING.  I thought this would be some philisophical read.  I like that kind of stuff...
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Well, I just started to read it and I like to read the jacket just before I dive into a book.......
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In 1852, girl named Hannah Meyer, an inhabitatnt of Franfurt's notorious Jewish ghetto, is admitted to the town asylum....wagging tongues have resulted in a diagnosis of NYMPHOMANIA....
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What the Flip!!!

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That is not what I was prepared for!!!!

This is a lesson in what things seem to be really are not at what they are.

I never read the book...I stop after page 38, figured it was a waste of my time and threw it out!

This is how life is...for example, the way a person looks does not in anyway tell you who they are.  As a society we are "trained" to judge a book by it's cover.  We do it every day, whether we will admit it or not.
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 We discriminate.
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Now don't go thinking that this is going to turn into some racial crap it isn't.
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I look at proper discrimation as discerning between things which are good for you and that which is not.

We need to discern all things. Foods we eat, places we take our families, things we talk about, who we socialize with, things we allow to take up percious storage in our minds (i.e. good/bad books, movies, music internet sites , and the list can go on.)
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I am so grateful for the gift of discernment.  Thanks to Adam and Eve we are all blessed to know good from evil,  pleasure from pain, happiness from misery.  And thanks to a Heavenly Father who allowed us to have free agency/the power to chose. 

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I haven't always used good discernment, and I have paid the price for those choices but I think I am on the right path now and I pray that I will always hold onto the iron rod and my faith to help me to continue to use good discernment.

Move over Balboa...sike!!

Really, I am training for the Canyonlands Half Marathon with my friend Kim and maybe our mutual friend Leisha. I am so excited & scared to death. I have never run a half marathon, but I guess there is a first time for pretty much everything.

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This run will be in March 2010 down in Moab. I think it will be awesome. The course is apparently a rolling course so I am going to attack the many "rolling" benches here in the valley.
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I think this is going to be one of those deep reflective kind of runs for me. At least the training is putting me in that place right now. Today is day two of running for me and of course I hate it during the run, but oh it feels so good at the end. I have another session for tonight.

David asked me if I wanted him to run with me. I told him no. This is one thing I need to do without him. I want him to support me a different way. He's way too busy anyway, with all of his camping he does every month. I really want to just see him at the finishline. I want to just run into his arms, knowing that I accomplished something, that I really would not have without putting my own effort into it. His support is always there. That is just one of his qualities I have fallen in love with. I am blessed because of him.

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So the rest of you, send me your prayers and words encouragement to help keep me motivated...goodness knows I need it. You can leave em' here on my blog or email them. Either way, I would really appreciate it.

Remember the time.... (So what do you remember from Jr. High?)

With Alex starting Jr. High, of course I get the chance to sit back an remember my Jr. High years. Actually, I really don't have to put a whole lot of work into that since I have journal of those years. So I have been reading my many pages of the mischief, roller coaster ups and downs of romance, family drama and everything else.

In my readings, I recorded:

• my first kiss, which was great and every bit a Jr. High kiss. That was shortly followed my my first heartbreak :-(...thanks.
• the nervousness of the first day of school.
• my first encounter with a Marine (Sgt. Padgett) You didn't mess with this man at ALL!!
• my first sleepover at a BOY's house....I thought my mom was NUTS!!!! so did Robert.
• poems my first real best friend wrote , whom I miss now.
• my own poems of sadness, joy and goofy loves. (Maybe, I'll publish them here one day, should I?)

I have four full journals of all my adventures in Jr. High. What memories and LAUGHS!!! I hope Alex can skip a lot of this junk in his Jr. High career. I am going to try really hard to help him along those paths. He is a very handsome kid. I worry. David said that when he was in Jr. High the girls didn't talk to him because he was "intimidatingly HOT." Oh brother!!! If that is true I hope he passed some of that on to our boy.

So here we go....let the good times roll.

So what's something you remember from Jr. High?

Click the comment link below by the labels.

you don't need to have gone to the same Jr. High, after all no matter where or when you went, it was pretty much the same everywhere wasn't it?

Blink of an eye...

I just sent my baby off to Jr. High. My goodness. I am almost at a loss for words. I have all of those jitters. I am nervous for him. He's nervous. We've talked and talked last night. Jr. High scares me. I am one of those mothers who lays it all out on the line, so I have advised him of some of the stuff coming at him. Sex, drugs, gangs, bullies, clicks. I hope it was enough.

Oh my goodness I forgot to tell him our mantra!!!!!!

"Remember who you are."

"Do good things."

"Make good choices."

"Bring home the Armstrong name intact."

Goodness. I hope he remembers.

I love that kid.

(pictures above, 1st day if kindergarten and this morning the 1st day of Jr. High.)

...maybe I just need a hug.

I tend to smile a lot and keep things to myself. But I have found that I am a pretty lonely gal.

David, is such a great man and I am blessed to have him as my husband and friend. But he's always gone. Right now he's finishing up his degree at the U, so he's been gone nearly every night for the past 2 years or so. And now that Alex is 12 and turning 13 in a couple of weeks Dave's gone even more. I miss him alot...as a matter of fact he's gone right now doing a fire safety activity with Alex and the scouts.

I am here alone with Aiden again, playing yet another game or reading yet another book. My family relationship back in NC is pretty...well, strained at the moment. So I can't really call anyone.

So I blog and cry and blog some more. My cousin, Tameka, is about the only family I can really talk to in NC. She sent me a message that just broke me. I am so grateful for her and her love of me. She is my sister not just my cousin.

As I have been feeling things I came across the above youtube message...My goodness how I needed it and still do.

Maybe I just need a hug.

Seattle 2009

• Alarm 4:45 am
• Pack van
• Wake kids
• Unplug everything
• Make sure we have directions....

and our version of Lampoon's Vacation begins.

David is a planner, I'm not so much. So when our buddy passes fell through and the flights were completely booked and no possible hope of get a set let alone 4 was shot to heck....10:30 pm rolled around and we decided that we would drive to Washington. Our very 1st. family roadtrip in 14 years of marriage. David just laughed, because I am always complaining that we never do anything spontaneous and that I need some more adventure. Well this was the answer to my prayers.

Well we had not gotten out of Salt Lake County before we had our first incident. Alex puked all over everything. The only thing I could say was, at least he had not eaten breakfast yet. David again laughed shaking his head...then it started to rain.

About 3:30 in the afternoon we stop off for gas to fill up. The machine is asking a $$$$ amount. David wanted to just fill up. A guy comes around the corner dressed in the colors of the station, red and yellow. Here's David's blog account:

...At first I thought he was trying to help me pump gas. He said, "It is state law that YOU can't pump my own gas." Before he told me that I was looking for the full service sign. (the last time I remember someone pumping our gas was in the early 80's) I thought I had pulled up to the wrong pump. I almost felt like I need to tip him. This guy was running to each pump filling up people's gas, CRAZY!!!! We drove away and I looked across the street at a Chevron station and I didn't see anyone running around there pumping people's gas. How crazy is that. you can't pump your own gas the Oregon and I learned from the attendant it's the same in New Jersey!! Who's the crazy yahoo making these laws!?!?

We finally made it to Seattle at 8:30 pm!!! 14 some hours straight through

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once we got there was spent Sunday with my old roomie Kim and her family. It was fun to reminisce with them. But just when we were getting ready to head to David's auntie's farm Aiden came in from playing and had two little welts on his cheek, that quickly spread to his entire face and neck. He had an allergic reaction to something that nearly sent us to the hospital. Luckily David's aunt is a nurse practitioner and we gave him some benedryl and with the help of Kim's husband, David and Brett gave Aiden a blessing. I am so thankful for the power of priesthood.

Once we got to Nancy & Zita's Aiden was out and we just visited for a bit and when to bed. The next few days we had the great chance of see the farm, visiting Nancy's clinic, seeing Tumwater, helping a little with the chores with the animals, and remembering through pictures and stories. This was the whole reason for the trip and I am glad we went.

Aiden had a hard time breathing at Nancy's but we got it under control by Wednesday.

Wednesday we drove out to Gig Harbor to see Robert Miller and his family. Of all our visits I think that was the most fun. WHY? Well, David brought to my attention that Robert and I interacted like brother and sister and that he had stories of our childhood that I had not mentioned and it was fun to see us react together to all of the stupid juvenile stuff we did.

I look back now and I feel the same way. Being with Robert and Robin and their boys was like being with my brother and sister-in-law. We love them so much and we are planning to get together again.

Lots of laughs and smiles. The rest of the time was just bummed about Seattle and it was great. I notice that Seattle is a very "artsy" place. I loved it. I really like it a lot. Don't think I could live there, but visit YES!!!

This blog could be very long, so if you want to know more, just ask and I'll answer. But for now enjoy the slideshow above.

Visiting the Past in a New Place

Our family is getting ready for a GREAT ADVENTURE. I just hope it doesn't turn into another installment of the Lampoon's Vacation. But we are going to headed to the great Northwest before the school year starts and I for one am SOOOO excited.
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It has been a very long time since we have been a Family Vacation. I think the last one was two weeks before I quit Delta. Then we traveled to my beloved Carlsbad, California....have I ever said how much I love that place!! I actually get emotional just thinking about beaches and the PCH. I'm getting off point....
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We are going to Seattle. The boys are so excited. Of course we will have to see the stadium where the Seahawks play, being that my boys (including David) are football fans. David really wanted to go to a game...too bad they aren't playing while we are there.
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Naturally we will see all the touristy places, Pike Place, do a ferry ride, see the Japanese Gardens (I am excited for that) and the museums (I am super excited about the museums) and other stuff, but a couple of the big events Dave and I are happily anticipating are the dinners with friends.
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David has an aunt who lives on a farm on the outskirts of Seattle. We have the blessed opportunity to stay with her a few days on the farm and see her horses, cows and whatnot. She has been asking us to come for many years and this is our year.
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During the time we are there we are going to have the chance to get together with my old roommate Kym and her family. It has been 11 years since we saw Kym and Brett. We have all changed, but we still remember all of the fun we had together.
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One of my now fond memories is...
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the GREAT ATTIC INCIDENT of 1994.

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I think I had just come home from a date or work or something and one of my roommates was home watching TV. I sat down and watched a little bit with her, when I heard creaking. I told her to turn the TV off and listen and we did...(Let me preface this with, it was the dead of winter and there had been recent break-ins of homeless people into homes trying to find a warm place to stay and I vividly remember a news story of a child that had told her parents she was staying at a friends house, but really was playing a trick on her parents and hid in the closet and her father shot and killed her, thinking she was an intruder.)

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Anyway, three of us girls shared a room. Two of us had bunk beds. I of course was on the top bunk and it was positioned right under the attic door. As Ang and I tiptoed around the apartment I notice all of these little black finger prints on the attic door. I freaked out. I called our old roommate who was married and asked her to bring her husband to check it out. (she lived just around the corner). I couldn't wait I told my other roommates that I was calling the police and I picked up the phone and dialed 911 as they are screaming, NOOOOO!!!!! startled by their screaming I hung up...You know what that did!!

The police came with a K-9 unit and threatened to send the dog up if whoever didn't come out and who comes slinking out of the attic, none other than Kym and Brett. I could have killed them that night. I was so angry I left the apartment at about 10 at night with out a coat and walked for a couple hours in about 11 degree weather. I WAS HOT!!! I don't think I spoke to them for a good week or maybe two.

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Now I laugh, but sometimes I could still kill them for that.

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Later, on our visit we are going to go way back into my past and visit and have dinner with a guy I knew back in my Quail Hollow & South Meck days, Robert Miller.

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Robert and I were in ROTC together, for all of my Jr High and High School years. He was super tall then and I was not. He was a jerk (his words people) and I was sweet and innocence (my words). We were the polar opposite in all things, but we were friends. He made me smile and laugh. And looking back he always supported me and had my back. And he was a really nice person.

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I remember one night he took me to a park (think that's what it was) he wanted to show me the city at sunset atop of this rock or something. I think this was sometime around our Jr. or Sr. year, but we climbed that thing and watched the Queen City glow with reds, greens and yellows and just talked. He was truly a good friend.

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He found me on facebook through one our mutual friends, Misty. He called one night and we talked and talked and talked, for 4 HOURS!!!! I talked mostly with Robin his wife. As a matter of fact, while Robin and I talked he went back on to FACEBOOK and sent me a message:

"Hey I called to talk to you then you talk to my wife longer than me : )"

I was still chattin' with his wife when he wrote this. :-)

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David and I are so excited to see them. Dave more so I think. He has always wanted to meet people who knew me then...

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This is going to be fun...if any of you have suggestions on what we should see while we are there let me know. I'll take pictures of it and post them for you.