Easily rocked

I have not run today.  I was knocked off by an unexpected seizure Alex had at school yesterday.  But I think it was a long time coming (the burnout, that is).

I feel like my resolve to run this half marathon has been shaken.

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then I watched this short video (click the link below image, after you've read this post)

http://www.moabhalfmarathon.org/halfm/chm_final/chmfinal.html

I've also started to read a book called, "Sole Sisters".

It is inspiring and pulls at your heart strings to give you a little bit more motivation.

I am going to run this thing.

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Give me some words of encouragement folks...I am in need of it.

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I am still running for me, but I think that after this I will put a lot of focus on running for Alex's disorder.

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Tuberous Sclerosis

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Not much is knowN about it.  All we know is that it is genetic and there is not a cure for it. Many people live with it and never know it, but a select few have seizures, skin problems and learning disabilities.

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We are so blessed that Alex only really has the seizures, which can be scary like the one yesterday. Poor kid fell out of his chair and really whacked his head hard and gave himself a nice swollen cheek and forehead not to mention a nasty bruise.  He also nearly gave his teacher a heart attack, but mom came to the rescue.  I tell you, there's a lot to be said about a mother's intuition.  I walked right in the classroom, just in time to help my young man.  I am grateful and glad I was there for him...

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So the run is still on...I just need a good ole YOU GO GIRL, YOU CAN DO THIS from my friends.  Whose willing to be the first.

Happy Birthday to my BOO!

5 years ago my baby was born.

He's not a baby anymore :-(

Aiden has been so excited for this day...we have also.

We had a little family and some friends party at our house for him yesterday.

It was so much fun to see him just light up.  

Aiden, I love you so much. You are the spice in my life and you add so much color to every day.  I am grateful you are my boy.

 

HAPPY BIG 5!!!

What should one think....How should one feel?...What matters most?

Called my dad, just to check in.  And the first thing he says, "Nee, you won't believe this.  We lost the baby."

I felt a little numb.

It brougt back some of the feelings of losing our two other sons, but I wasn't overcome with sadness.

That is a good thing.

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I was just sad that someone else I know had to expierence what we had to deal with.

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The crazy part of all this I haven't even addressed yet.

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The baby was lost July 15th.

The day after I wrote "what's in a name post."

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Cynthia, never said anything.  Never gave a hint.  Never anything.

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She allowed us to name the child.  I don't understand that.

I am not angry, just a little shellshocked by the whole thing.  A bit baffled as to why she would let this go on for 2 whole months.

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People had been giving her clothing.  My dad had been buying her clothing and she never said anything.

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I know her heart aches.  I know she feels like by doing this she was "salvaging" the relationship she has with my dad, but for him, that was not the case.  He cares for her just like he always has.  Hopefully, one day she will understand that.

She told him they could try again and my dad said firmly, NO!!! 

I am glad about that.

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So I am left here not really sure what to think or how to feel.

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I pray she and my dad will weather this well......

Wouldn't wish this on my worst of enemies or strongest of friends.

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I am SOOO Grateful for my knowledge I have of the gospel.  I am thankful for the peace I have in knowing the plan of happiness. 

Tis the Season...

Wow!  This year has just flown by....and now it't that time of the year....

Getting those cards ready!!!

Here are 3 new designs for your holiday pleasure.

Contact me for more details and how to order.

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE

No.11

No. 12

No.13

To see the rest of the collection click here

All orders purchased by October 31st. will receive a 10% discount on entire order.

'Me" a warrior???

I just read the blog of a mom who is georgeous is every possible way.  But, I was so touched and moved to evaluate myself by what was said.  Her "pops" wrote a little on her blog and it got me.  Mr. & Mrs. R is in a righteous battle for their son. On September 11th "we" had a trial in which the sperm donor (really it was his mother, this "kid" could really careless--100% MY OPINION) is trying to stop the adoption of their little boy.  It was a wild.
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As I look back on that day, I reflect on "the row of warriors."  I don't think we thought that was who we were.  We were just MOMS!! We represented, birthmoms, adoptive moms, and "natural" moms, who saw an injustice.  And we were going to make it known that Gavin is with his family. 
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His mother and father and his brother love him.  His birthmother was there to testify on behalf of Mr. & Mrs. R.  She was so beautiful and poised and a MOTHER WHO LOVES HER BOY.  Loves him so much that she knew that he was to be parented by Mr & Mrs. R. 

This is our little boy.  We adopted him many years ago.  I love him so much.  He is ours.  I can't imagine his birthfather, trying to disrupt our lives to try and remove him from our family.  That is ridiculous.  Just like it is for this "kid" to try and do this to Gavin.  I am a STRONG supporter of adoption.  I have been blessed by it.  My family has been blessed by it.  Therefore, I cannot sit by and not do nothing, especially if just the mere presence of us "warriors" is all that  is needed.

So pray for the R family, the judge, Gavin and all birth family and adoptive families alike.  This decision doesn't just effect one it effects ALL.

Others perception of you is usually THE reality.

I put this on my wall after I saw it on another friends.  I am curious as to how people see me.  One thing I do know is that preception is truely a realty of who we are, so we need to make sure our actions are speaking well of us.

Leave a one-word comment you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more.

Tia Northrup Marlow~~Kind
Carrie Densmore~~Angel
Jamie Marshall~~Committed
Angie Sullivan Salisbury~~intense
Kaybi Whetstone Zesiger~~Happy
Leisha Kelsey~~Inspiring
Melissa Harris~~Strong!
Amy Croxton Merkley~~Determined
JaNean Frandsen~~Lovable
Tiffany Ahlstrom Jenson~~Coolio!

Tameka Martin~~Contagious

Rex Richardson~~confident
Roger Day~~Friend
Robert Miller~~Loyal. This sort of sounds like the boyscout motto : )

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What is your ONE word perception of me?

click the COMMENTS link below and let me know :o)

He runs with me!

Today was a hard day for some reason.
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I tried doing the podcast at home on the treadmill.
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But for some strange reason I could only go for 13 minutes.  I had completed this same podcast on Monday and it was GREAT!!
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BIG blow to the motivation and belief in myself, that I can do this. {TEARS}
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My head was filling with doubt.  I decided that I would try it again at the outdoor track at the fitness center. 
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I was so leary at the prospect that someone-anyone would see "all" of me running. 
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Shame was taking over. 

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I started the warm-up walk with so much trepidation. I know I looked scared to everyone else on the track, but I kept moving.
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Just before I was to do the minute run piece, I saw a man in a scooter with a knee brace and a firefighters T-shirt on.  I was being shamefully judegmental and thought, "I know this man, does not think, he's exercising, come on."
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That was wrong of me.  He stopped me and asked me a question, but more importantly, as he was taking off to wherever, he said,
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"Thanks. You're doing a good job, GOOD LUCK." and smiled.

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I have never met this man.  I put my earbud back in my ear and walked on. 

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I turned around to see him, he was gone. 

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I thanked God, that very moment, because I needed to hear that and he was the messenger I needed to hear it from.  I needed to see him as he was doing what he could, and I realized that my Heavenly Father is asking only that of me.  5k-half marathon, it doesn't matter.  I am only required to do my very best and that is good enough.
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I continued with my training.  As I ran I came across another runner.  He wasn't dressed according to my preception of how a runner should dress, but he was running.  He and I ran in opposite directions passing by each other 3 times.  
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Each pass something about him changed...NO LIE!!  Every pass.  The first he did not look my way.  No hello, nothing.  The second time, he just smiled.  By the time he approached me the 3rd time he was giving me thumbs up and a smile that just wrapped me in a warm confidence that I was "going somewhere." 

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That is when I realized, HE was running with me. 

HE was running with ME!

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"I" could never do this alone. 

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This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  And not for reasons people think. Running.

It is hard because I have to/want to allow HIM to make me better.

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Better wife.

Better mom.

Better friend.

Better sister.

Better neighbor.

Better daughter.

Better missionary.

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I made it to the end of the podcast.  It was hard.  It was worth it.  I learned a lot and I know God sends me angels of all kinds to keep me motivated and I thank HIM for them.

The names we have

3. Did you have a nickname as you were growing up?
Not really.  It seems I escaped the nicknames for the most part.  I do have cousins who nickname is the only name I can recall.  For the life of me I could never tell you their actual legal name.  As a matter of fact a cousin asked me to be her friend on FACEBOOK and I declined because I didn't recognized the name. One of my other cousins asked me if I friend so-n-so and I was in show as the name.  A little embarassed, but we're  friends now. :-)  I have cousins/aunts/uncles with nicknames like: Dottie, Shakey Jakey, Smooky, Stanky, Payne, Muggs, Dutchie, Punkin, Hog, Sqormy, Dohb, Panny.  This list could be very lengthy.  My sister has entertained may nicknames: Luck(y)-this what most of us call her, but there is also, Lanny, B.U.L, and Lan. 

Growing up no one really called me much else, other than Nakia.  I've had variations of it or shortened versions I allowed or even suggested.  So I have been called, Nikki, Nik, Nee, or Neenee. and some still call me Ms. Nik, Jackson.  None of them bother me.  I like them all.

4. Have you had nicknames as an adult?
Madea.  "My girls" call me this.  Why?  I remind them of Tyler Perry's character Madea in his movies.  I don't take anybody's crap and I speak kindly, but direct.  I also add a little humor.  I am very proud to be called Madea.  I love my kids & "my girls" and I want nothing but the best things in life for them.  I don't want them to ever question my care and concern for them.  I would never lead them astray.  That is how I see the character.  I pray that I am a good influence for my kids to stand up for what they believe and not back down from a challenge.

But to most, I am simple known as Nakia or Sister Armstrong :-)

So, what's your name?.....CLICK THE COMMENT AND TELL ME.

This past Sunday IN Relief Society we talked about journaling.  Obviously, I am an avid blogger, but am I a journal keeper?  YES I AM!!  My blog is how people will know I was here.  Loved ones will know I had a voice, that I also had flaws and beliefs.

During the lesson we talked about life stories and how to write our own personal histories.  I was intrigued, because I like to read the happenings in the life of others and never thought my life would be something of value to those to come, but I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG!  We all have a history that others will learn from and hopefully become better because of our life. So I think I will start here...I have my journals,but what is my personal history.

Preserve your memories - seal them up well.

What you forget, you can never retell.

But a journal that's kept fresh on the shelf

Will help someone through rough times --

Maybe even yourself!

In writing this there will be people who will be mad that they had/have an influence on who I have become and how I see things, but I say to them, own your part, because I believe I am a better person because of or despite of you.

To do this I have a wonderful little book that has questions that once answered will be my personal history up until this point.  Here'a little poem to get us started.

Old Photographs

A box of faded photographs

I opened yesterday,

And instantly my memories

Were carried far away

To many friends and places

From years so long ago,

As I sorted through those photographs

Of folks I used to know.

There were some of family members

That are no longer here,

And photographs of sweethearts

I once thought very dear.

Thoughts swiftly raced and tumbled

On things that are no more,

As I daydreamed over photographs

And happy days of yore.

Ernest Jack Sharpe

I hope that over time as I answer these questions you have greater understanding of who I am and why you call me friend.....or foe :-)  As I answer these questions, may I suggest you do the same and perserve your own personal history.

1. What is your full name and why were you named it?
Nakia Syree Jackson.  Very different I know.  I used to hate it so much.  I even asked people to call me Nikki, just so I could feel "normal."  My mom was adament with my dad in naming her first born child.  I was supposed to be named Quianna Syree.  But a "cousin" (I use this word and others like "aunt" and "uncle" very loosely) of my mother had a daugther just before me and "took" the name.  Come to find out in the 1970's there was a brand of underwear name Quianna.  I am very glad I dodged that bullet.  Nevertheless, my "cousin" Quianna is a very beautiful woman and I love her so much. 

2. Were you named after someone else?
I wasn't necessarily named after a real person, but a character.  There was a television show that had a very short run named, Nakia.  It was about an Native American Cop.  My mother loved the show.  She especially loved he Indian.  She says he was very good looking.  Boy or girl it was going to be my name. I have never seen the show, but one day I hope I will.  It will be interesting.  I have learned that Nakia is not a very popular name, although those who hear it express how beautiful it is.  

I always, now, get a kick when people hear my name.  It makes me proud and feel, dare I say it, a little sexy.  When said properly, in my opinion, it is a bit breathy.

My name has many meanings.  I seems to lends itself to many cultures as well.  In Uganda, it means, second of the twins.  In the Navajo language, I learned that it a male name meaning, fire.  But I like the Chinese meaning most, pure.

There is no reason for the name Syree, other than it is just a pretty name.  It does mean princess in Arabic, so that makes me feeling happy.  Ironically we are all children of God.  Making us of royal birth.  So Nakia Syree, Pure Princess, reminds me of that. Thanks goodness for repentance and the atonement, because at the end of my life I hope I have lived up to that.

So, I'm curious, what's your name and why were you named it?

Return to my "Old Home" in a "New Place"----am I old now?

Today was the first day of class for me in 14 years or so.  Here are my musings from day 1:

There's a girl & two guys sitting behind me, young of course talking about a Jay-Z concert.  Yes, I've heard of this rapper, never listened to him though.  Flashbacks of my early years at my alma mater flood me.

I think, was I really like them.  Was I really so like them.

This classroom is different than the mansion.  I miss the mansion.  I'm used to seeing it.  This building is different, therefore the feel is also.  I should expect things to have changed, after all I have. 

The professor from that many years ago is teaching this class.  Then, her hair was jet black now, a carroty red.  She moves more gingerly than I remember, but I see her excitement for this new group.  I wonder if she recognizes me, I don't know.  She sits on a table, rocks on her left hip to cross her legs, then she speaks.

Her speak reminds me of Audry Hepburn.  A very rhymatic pattern.  Almost hynotic.  It lifts and lowers and is a little raspy.  The professor in her own words is "A natural born rebel."  But the beat of her speak betrayed her even before her words could.

She looks at me quite often, as if trying to place a name to a long ago face.  She tried, but I allowed her to struggle a bit.  She first thought I was just as young as the kids in the class, but she saw my name on the role and then she remembered me.

This was day 1.  I think I will like this class on Philosophy.  I can hardly wait to see what the next class will be like.

The toll running/training is taking on my body!!! It's a good thing.

Right now I am in the heart of Week 3!!of my training for the half down in Moab in March.  It feels really good! But there are some things I have notice....Running takes a toll on the body and I have learned a few things that really should be considered or better yet I should have considered:

• This is HARD!!!!!
• Having the right shoe is a MUST.
• Having the right sportsbra is even a bigger MUST.
• Running with a purpose helps.
• Postive comments from others are so NEEDED...seriously, this is really hard and to have people send encourging words is so wanted, appreciated and motivating.  So please send them.
• Have a group you can depend on and know they will push you when you need it.  Not to mention, there to hold you up when you want to stop...thanks to my girls.

This has been so good for me.  My body has been enjoying the new found energy.  14.5 lbs got lost somewhere. Things are getting tighter and firmer.  Dave is...well ya know....  I am loving this running thing...

13 Years Old!!!! Happy Birthday Alex!!

Surprise to the both of us that I was prego just months after we married. Especially after the docter told us we had on a 1% chance of every having a child. Even more of a surprise when I went into labor on Labor Day, 13 years ago.
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Alex was a premie  Born two months early and weighing only 4 lbs.  He was a miracle.  No problems, just little.  He stayed at the hospital for 30 days and then we got to bring him home.

I was scared and wanted to take him back to the hospital. But my rock was there and he did things I couldn't do. I had a touch of post partum, but that didn't last long.

Alex has grown from a cute little baby to a very handsome young man.  He is kind and gentle, like his dad.  Very helpful and trusting like his mom. 

He makes being a mom so easy.  I love it when he gives me hugs.  They remind me of his dad.  They are genuine.  I can see in him how much he tries to do the right things.  I pray he keeps that about him.

I am a "groud" mother.  I am so blessed to have such a person in my life and I am the lucky one to get to call him "son."

I love you Alex.  Happy Birthday "baby"!

Fredrick Lewis Martin 1954-2009

My uncle passed last Sunday. 

Fredrick Louis Martin, age 54, departed this life on Aug. 30, 2009, at Alliance Community Hospital following an extended battle with cancer.

He was born May 14, 1954, to the late Henry and Annie Lee Martin. He was one of seven children. His favorite pastime was watching sports.

He leaves to mourn him a daughter, Teneya Brooks of Texas; two grandsons; four sisters, Mary and Jacqueline Martin of Alliance and Joeann Jackson and Beverly Prioleau of Charlotte, N.C.; two brothers, James and Jonathan Martin, both of Alliance; a host of nieces, nephews and cousins; a special aunt, Alberta Newman of Chicago; and three special friends, Rose of Chicago, Sellus Hill and Sondra Shells.

He was preceded in death by a son, Fredrick Martin Jr.

Services will be held at noon on Saturday, Sept. 5, 2009, at Anointed Fountain Church with Pastor Nick Myers officiating. Calling hours will be held one hour prior to the funeral, from 11 a.m. to noon.

Arrangements are by R.A. Franklin Funeral Home. (9-3-09)

I grew up somewhat, with him.  When we lived in Alliance, OH and our (my sister, me, and pretty much all of my Martin cousins) parents were unable to be with us, Fred took care of us.  And the "us" is no small group.  We're talking about 10-15 of "us" kids at one time.  He was good to us and I cared a lot for him. 

Sometimes we need a reminder of  what is important. 

I am one who proclaims a strong testimony in my faith and my church, but after watching is video, I realize there is more I can do with and for my family.

I honor all of those who still suffer from 9-11, those who suffered, those who are healing.

I will do my part in being a good mom to my kids and loyal devoted wife to my husband.  And above all follow the commandments of my loving Heavenly Father.