Pushed Through

I had been running on the treadmill.  But I really needed to GO OUTSIDE.  After all, that is where there race will be taking place, right?

I have been really focusing on being able to run the half, but

I needed to take little bites.

...I signed up for the West Valley Family Fitness Center Turkey Trot (5k)

Nov. 21st.

I AM FREAKING SCARED!!!!

So with that in mind I decided to check out the course.

It is really nice....THANK GOODNESS.

I walk/ran it today and
I am very happy and proud.

I did it in under an hour.  For some of you that's no big whoop, but for me I wanted to give up and just hop the fence and cut across the field back to my van, but I stayed the course, willing myself all the way through.  It was hard.

Harder than running on a treadmill...

but worth it.

I won't give up.

Amazing Alex

This is a different kind-o-kid.

We haven't talked with Alex, yet about what is going on in his head.

But, that has not stopped this young man from learning more for himself.

Last Sunday, I was helping him with this Pre-Algebra homework and he just stated, "Mom, they sure are taking a long time to get my results from the MRI."

I didn't have the heart to tell him what we know and what has been suggested to help him.

I just replied, shamelessly, "Yes they are."

But he surprised me, with what he did next.

Alex got up and was looking through a pile of books and folders he has on his dresser and said, "I've been researching my disorder, mom, and I know this is genetic or I could be a new mutation." He laughed outloud as he said the last part. "This also says, that to help stop the seizures, surgery is recommended.  Mom, I really want the seizures to go away. I am willing to have the surgery, if we get the results back.  I'm really okay with it." 

I just stared at my young man. 

It was as if Heavenly Father was speaking through him to my heart. 

It's okay.  It's going to be okay.

Please don't think I'm crazy.

I am open to however, or whoever, or whatever venue God wants to get to me.

For me, there is no better way, then through the voice and heart of child, especially my own.

I am so grateful for who this young man is.  He is a great teach to me.

This weekend is Fast Sunday.  I would ask you to fast (prayerfully going without two consecutive meals as an offering to Heavenly Father) for my boy.  It is also my birthday on Monday, so that would be an awesome gift if all my friends would fast for the health of our son and peace & comfort for our family.

AdVeNtUrEs In RaIsInG Aiden Part III

We have a large blank red wall in our livingroom after rearranging furniture...

so I was thinking

of a large framed family portrait.

But I wanted to be a bit  more creative.

I decided that 4-20x20 black and white silhouettes would be very nice.

The boys were so great at allowing me to snap a gazillion profile shots.

Once I did my clean up work on the silhouettes, I got them all matted and looking pretty.

I put them on the shelf in the kitchen just to be out of the way...

I called the boys in to check them out.

Alex, just replied with the teenage, "Cool mom, that looks just like me. Nice."

Aiden didn't say as much.  He had a very confused look on his face.

Still confused, he looked over his shoulder at me, pointing at his sihouette with a very questioning look and asked,

"That's me?"

which I replied, "Uh huh."

"I'm BLACK?"

I could not hold it together after that, I just laughed so hard, gave him a huge hug and kiss and said,

"Yep, baby, you are."

We have gone to great lengths to make sure they know who they are and who society thinks they are, therefore teaching them what to expect from society, but never ever forgeting what we have taught them.

They know they have the best of both worlds running through their veins,

 dispite what is happening in the world. 

They are a gift to the world

in the skin they are packaged in.

I just love the innocence.

Too bad it doesn't last forever.

Our Brave Young Man

2nd seizure in two weeks. 

Last Wednesday, after I celebrated with the r house, their adoption victory, Alex had a really major seizure that lasted 6 minutes.

We ended up at Primary's and was sent home.

This is/was so scary.  It seemed a bit unnerving for our neighbor boy who rode up to th hospital with me and Alex.  It is so hard to get used to the idea of your son/friend not know who you are for a while, let alone understand that they don't even know who they are.

We had to tell him repeatedly, that we were nice people, that he could trust us.  We had to tell him his name over and over again.

But that is not even the hard part.

Our boy is/was/becomes non verbal.  The look in his eyes said so much, yet his voice was cut off from us.

****

We have completed two test so far.  The kidneys are clean of any tumors!

YES!

The heart is not so clean, but with the help of prayer and a father's priesthood blessing, Alex only has one small tumor in his heart.

YES!!

He had three at the last echocardiogram. 

We have been blessed.

Now we face the MRI today.  This is the one test I have been dreading. 

I pray there are no new tumors.

I pray the ones he has have not grown.

But, I have faith in prayer.  I have faith in the priesthood my husband holds.  Whatever happens, I have been promised peace and comfort.

I do ask all of you to pray for Alex. 

Pray that he will continue to handle his life with the same grace, patience & class,

 he has demostrated thus far. Such a great example, to me, of how I should carry myself in the face of so much stress and uncertainty.

If you have ever spent a few minutes to really get to know Alex, you will learn that he is truely one of those young people that will bless your life.  He is an amazing person.

Not because his is my son (that's a bonus for us),
but because of just who he is.

Family is ordained of God.

Dear Lord above, I bow my head

in gratitude of thy mercy and love.

Today was an R House victory!

They have been on my mind since the trial and today was their day, but all of us who were there, were affected in one way or another.

As I waited to be there with Mr &  Mrs. R, I prayed and of course they were in my thoughts.  I just wanted a peace that all would be well.

Standing in my kitchen thinking & praying for the r house, the sun just shone brighter than what I had experienced thus far.

I felt hope come alive.

Today the judge in the r house adoption case delivers his decision.  I wait patiently, in peace.

that is what I couldn't help myself from writing with my hands sopping wet from doing dishes.

When the time came to hear the decision, I sat between two of the most beautiful women, I've known.  We held on to each other, squeezing one anothers arms with each confirmation the judge uttered in the favor of the r house. 

After hearing what seemed to be tons of failure to act on the birthfather's part, the judge finally said,

"the birthfather has no rights to stop the adoption of

baby r."

r side of the courtroom just sobbed quietly from the joy and relief.

Then there were the empty drama laden screams of the birthfather over the phone.

(he didn't even show up...attorney took the blame for that, whatever!)

Baby r is right where he belongs.

He has a family and it is a family only God could have created.

I am so happy for the r house. 

One Step....Then Another

I've already taken the first steps...

But I am now reading Running with Angels

Can't really explain it, but I'm reading my story.

My life is not unique, but it is mine, but when I started to read this book...I could not help but see me. 

The authors expierences were and are mine.

From the Dr. telling us about our chances of pregnancy.

The weight gain

My husband's education.

The return of two babies.

The eating habits.

and the list is plentiful...

As I have really pondered every line of the book,

 I thought about my angels.

Jackson and Andrew (no one really knew we had a name for him).

Please don't feel anything but happy for me.

I have two PERFECT sons waiting for me.

They were tiny, but I have yet to meet anyone whose spirit is larger than theirs.

Truely their life (however short) they lived was a testimony of a Father in Heaven, who is so

in love with His children.

Before the boys died, the hospital made moldings of their hands and feet.

I am so grateful that I have them. They mean so much to me.

Andrew would have been two this past June.

and

Jackson would be turning 9 this November.

My tiny angels run with me.  They are in my heart and whisper to me.

I am one blessed woman... I can do this.

Make it quick!!!

I love to cook!!!
and present my dishes beautifully.

So when a friend from Colorado asked for some recipes to get her out of the same ole some ole....

 this came to mind.

I have a 3 ingredient cookbook that is the BEST!!!

I got it for David, when I worked for the airlines...The boys were getting tired of dad's "ghoulash". 

I won't even eat it when he makes it now!

(I hate ghoulash. He makes it like he is still at home at his mom's with all 10 kids)

This beautiful dessert is so easy and only uses regular sliced bread, frozen berries and sugar.

AWESOME!!

So below I have some pics of the recipes in the book, click to enlarge.  Also you can click on the recipe names and a pic will show up.  If there is one you would like a clearer recipe...leave a comment for the one you would like and I will post it here for you or I can email it either way.

Bon Appetit

Steak and Blue Cheese Sandwiches

Warm Penne w/ Fresh Tomatoes & Basil

Broccoli & Chilli Spaghetti

Minty Courgette Luigine

Salt Cod and Potato Fritters

Asian-Style Crab Cakes

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE-  Honey Mustard Chicken

Roast Pork with Juniper Berries and Bay

Soy Sauce and Star Anise Chicken

Pot Roasted Chicken with Preserved Lemons

There are many more...

All of these come from:

by Jenny White.

I highly recommend it.