Uuuuggghh

You know that feeling when the pit of your stomach

feels like the bottom is about to give out.

That's what I feel right now.

...not really sure why.

I'm having the hardest time concentrating on the task at hand and my mind is laden with worries.

Rubied Apple GIVEAWAY!

All cards are delivered to you digitally, so you can print them off yourself and save some money.

And TWO people will be winners!!

Click here to learn more.

Please pass a HUGE helping of ACCOMPLISHMENT

I am not a runner....barely a walker, but I wanted to do this for me.

When I showed up to the start line, I will admit I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were already there.

I secretly hoped that Brandi and me

would be the only two people there.

But of course that was only empty hopes.

I looked around me and saw  A LOT of little people.

(skinny, little people in skimpy shorts and tiny little shirts....

 IN 30 DEGREE TEMPS)

All I could think was, "Bless their hearts."

I showed up in thermal underwear, two bras, a longsleeve underarmour top, a snug t-shirt over that and a winter vest....

( Froze my butt off)

I kept repeating "Why am I doing this?" over and over.

I was intimidated. 

I was admittedly embarrassed, by my body type, thinking how I would stack up to the other runners.

But I was there, NOW!!

They gave me my packet and I went back to my van to see what was all in it. But the first thing I noticed was...

"What the flip?"

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I did NOT want to be associated with that number in anyway.  It screamed at me, "LOSER" and everyone would know it.  My fear was happening right before my eyes.

Ever hear...

"The first shall be last and the last shall be first."

That was all I could hear and see in my head.

I hurried back to the table and timidly asked if there was way for me to get another number. NOPE!

I was stuck.

So I zipped up my vest and that number was never seen again until the end of the trot.

The race started and I siked myself out of keeping on with my friend.  She was good and I am not one to hold someone else back from their own personal accomplishment so I stopped running and told her to go on.  I know she would have stopped with me if I asked her to.

I think...no, I know I needed to do this BY MYSELF to really know that I could do this.

I didn't have my IPOD, which would have been awesome, but I found my own cadence.

That worked for me.

I will admit, I did walk some the course, but that didn't matter to me.

I met a neat girl who was walking the course and we talked and got to know each other.  It was awesome to share this expierence with someone who was like me, a novice.

But we were there!! & Doing it!!

We both realized that it wasn't where we finished in the race, but that we finished.

This had nothing to do with who we beat or anything like that.

This was about, us (ME) finishing and owning this earned accomplishment.

As we turned the corner heading for the finish, I convinced her that we had to run it in.  She didn't want to do, but I told her we could and would do it together.

 

It was awesome coming in!!!

Having all those people cheering was just AWESOME!!

I beat my own time!!! and....

I WAS NOT LAST!!!

The funny part of it all was, although I had hidden my number from the world....

The world knew I was

#1.

I am such a beloved daugther of Heavenly Father.

I am so thankful for this

HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT.

Today is Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for everything and the specific following:

• 
  
  my David
  
  
  
• 
  
  my Alex
  
  
  
• 
  
  my Aiden
  
  
  
• 
  
  my life
  
  
  
• 
  
  my testimony
  
  
  
• 
  
  my faith
  
  
  
• 
  
  my health
  
  
  
• 
  
  my friends
  
  
  
• 
  
  my family
  
  
  
• 
  
  YOU & most importantly
  
  
  
• 
  
  my relationship with my Father in Heaven.
  
  
  

Feeling blessed

I don't know what to say.

Since I have begun advocating to help my son

something is happening to US.

So many people are coming to our aide

either by buying products from The Rubied Apple, or

giving generously monetarily to Alex's Surgery, or even donating items for us to sell at the Apple....

I have seen the heart of many and am so excited and humbled to see the hearts of more.

This a blessed time for us and we are cherishing every moment.  I am doing all I can to have new ideas to help our cause. 

I have attended the temple more this year than I can remember.  I have felt the peace of a loving Father in Heaven and a confirmation that he is pleased with my actions. 

Even when I helped clean the temple, the peace was there.

Alex has been so amazing.  He is upbeat and carefree...

He tells me often, "Mom, it's gong to be fine."

I am blessed beyond measure with love, devotion, kindness, care, charity, humility and more.

Thank you to all of you who have helped, are helping and will help.

We love you.

The TIME has come.

Nov. 21st.

8 AM

projected temps: 39 degrees

conditions:  SNOWY

Everything is all set the course is ready and I'm NOT!!

But I have made a committment to myself,

therefore it shall be done.

Cheer me on!!!

(gotta go, I have to put a few miles on these shoes...they haven't ran in two weeks...I'm gonna DIE!)

Feeling Joy

Joy fills me.

I have been bummed for far too long.

I am putting myself full force into raising money for Alex's surgery.

If you want ot help us, by making a monetary donation (thank you, to those who have done that, it is so appreciated), buying something from the Rubied Apple, telling your friends and family about the Apple, right now I am planning on making sweet potato pies and if you would like to buy one that would be AWESOME!

I have been finding my peace in my efforts to help our son.

He is truely a gift.

So I know that what I am doing is right.  I am feeling joy.

And it feels good.

14 Years!! Happy Anniversary

I can't believe it's been 14 years.

We made it and now on to eternity.

I love you David...Happy Anniversary.

Thanksgiving Pie Fundraiser

http://www.therubiedapple.blogspot.com/

We are doing a fundraiser to help with our efforts.  If you would like to participate please click the link above.

We've also added aprons to the Apple and will be adding more as they are made.

Thank you so much for your support.

Humility

I am humbled.

I have been loved by so many friends.

Thank you ALL.

Alone in "India" and Other Random Feelings

Do you ever feel that way?

This is my expierence now.  There are so many people who have out a helping hand and

I appreciate it beyond measure.

But who out there can understand this feeling of isolation, with all that my family is going through.

I seem to be trying to blow it off with statements like

"..it could be worst."

"...it is what it is."

I just want to give up.

I am tired.  I feel like a washing woman in India by the river, washing & washing, but the pile (problems) seem to mount, never reducing.

....I just turned 35 two days ago and I want my mommy.
Pathetic, I know.

I think I am just tired of losing kids, kids being sick and no outlet for me.  I just want to belong somewhere with a group of friends, instead of being a tag along.

I want to be a part of something with friends.

Right now, I feel like I'm in India with a billion people, yet alone and no one can see me.

The Rubied Apple

Our son's most recent MRI indicates that the tumors in/on his brain are growing. 

The recommneded solution is brain surgery.

As you can imagine this surgery will be expensive.

 We are trying to raise the funds to help meet our medical financial responsibilty to our son.

So here you will find items we, friends, other family member have made and are selling

to earn the funds to put towards his surgery.

We have set up a site called

The Rubied Apple
http://www.therubiedapple.blogspot.com/

If you are willing to donate an item for us to display here and sell, please contact us at:

therubiedapple@yahoo.com

We are so grateful to all of you for your support.

Here are some items we are selling to begin raising the money.