It seems to me...

...that I have to just make the decision.

Last night my very insightful husband, me and the rest of the family were talking to my mom on speaker phone.  It was a great time....honestly it was.  Lots of giggles and ah ha!! moments that I didn't express, but the bells were going off in my body and mind.

We were talking about health and Aiden, piped in and simple stated, "Lala, just stop eating the bad stuff, it's not good for your body, you just need to stop."  Which took my mom by surprise. 

If you know nothing else about Aiden, it is that, the boy, is very opinionated.

David added, "You just have to make the decision that you want to feel better." 

WOW!!!

Sounds simple right???  Well, really......it is (at least I hope so). 

Deep deep deep down in conscience I have not  made the decision TOTALLY to be healthier.

Yes....I do sign up and do the 5Ks. (I really like them, but I am sure I can push harder.)

Yes...I think I am making the right food choices for my health (except when I allow the burger cravings, chocolate cravings, salt cravings, pretty much anything get the best of me and I eat until I am pained...I realize that this is not good and that I need to find out what's "eating" me).

Yes...I weigh myself like I should (however, lately have been allowing the number to determine my value).

So, my intentions are great and some of my actions....but I haven't made the concrete decision to be healthier...TOTALLY.

Right now, I am trying a new food approach.  Vegetarian...I was going to do Vegan, but that is too hard for me at the moment.  I am on day 3 of this new journey and so far so good.  The family had not recognized that they have not had meat since Sunday and they don't seem to mind.

So it seems to me, that a decision to be healthier is simple, yet there are many layers to the TOTAL decision and maybe I am just at the beginning, and I don't necessarily think that is bad...you got start there anyway.

Living in 2 Worlds

"Luck", Nakia, Oynx & "Ma" Joeann

I have always lived in 2 separate, yet rewarding worlds.  My family back east can confirm that statement.

Growing up I never was a 100% fit in either and over time, years...I have learned to navigate artfully through both.

Going "home" this last week I have come to grips that living in the different worlds is okay and beneficial.  And please DO NOT let anyone tell you that there aren't 2 different worlds, with rites, roles, standards and traditions....THEY ARE LYING TO YOU!!

Nakia & Yolanda "Luck"

In the world of my youth and honestly with the help of a very "black" sister, I learned a lot.  Me, being black, is not just a given to knowledge of my culture...it is learned also.  My sister as well as many others spoke and speak to me in an intelligent dialect that is spoken within the community and yes I do believe that the dialect spoken in the black community can and is of intelligence.  I believe all language is, especially when it services a purpose, conveys a message and understood.  It is a language.  But I am digressing from the worlds.

I loved being at home with my family and listening to the speak.  I loved knowing the fact that although I have been away from them I could still easily slip in and still understand and know what was going on and being said and if need be I could communicate in the same fashion, but I didn't need to...."I just did me."

Now with that in mind, I traveled home to Utah...my other world.  My world where my husband and children are.  A world vastly different than the world of my youth.  Standards...different.  Speak....different.  Traditions...different. But the fact that I can navigate back into it is all a wonder and a pleasure to me.

Knowing that little bit of information had me thinking on my trip home about my best gal pal, Brandi.  I really wanted her to come home with me, to see where I grew up.  To really witness the beauty of Charlotte.  But as I pondered my experience...I don't think she would have been ready for how culturally different my 2 worlds are.  One day we will go and hopefully experience the joys of Charlotte. 

Being that my worlds are different and I have family in both, I am really going to make efforts to bring them together.  The hard part is where to start.