He runs with me!

Today was a hard day for some reason.
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I tried doing the podcast at home on the treadmill.
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But for some strange reason I could only go for 13 minutes.  I had completed this same podcast on Monday and it was GREAT!!
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BIG blow to the motivation and belief in myself, that I can do this. {TEARS}
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My head was filling with doubt.  I decided that I would try it again at the outdoor track at the fitness center. 
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I was so leary at the prospect that someone-anyone would see "all" of me running. 
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Shame was taking over. 

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I started the warm-up walk with so much trepidation. I know I looked scared to everyone else on the track, but I kept moving.
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Just before I was to do the minute run piece, I saw a man in a scooter with a knee brace and a firefighters T-shirt on.  I was being shamefully judegmental and thought, "I know this man, does not think, he's exercising, come on."
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That was wrong of me.  He stopped me and asked me a question, but more importantly, as he was taking off to wherever, he said,
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"Thanks. You're doing a good job, GOOD LUCK." and smiled.

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I have never met this man.  I put my earbud back in my ear and walked on. 

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I turned around to see him, he was gone. 

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I thanked God, that very moment, because I needed to hear that and he was the messenger I needed to hear it from.  I needed to see him as he was doing what he could, and I realized that my Heavenly Father is asking only that of me.  5k-half marathon, it doesn't matter.  I am only required to do my very best and that is good enough.
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I continued with my training.  As I ran I came across another runner.  He wasn't dressed according to my preception of how a runner should dress, but he was running.  He and I ran in opposite directions passing by each other 3 times.  
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Each pass something about him changed...NO LIE!!  Every pass.  The first he did not look my way.  No hello, nothing.  The second time, he just smiled.  By the time he approached me the 3rd time he was giving me thumbs up and a smile that just wrapped me in a warm confidence that I was "going somewhere." 

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That is when I realized, HE was running with me. 

HE was running with ME!

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"I" could never do this alone. 

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This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  And not for reasons people think. Running.

It is hard because I have to/want to allow HIM to make me better.

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Better wife.

Better mom.

Better friend.

Better sister.

Better neighbor.

Better daughter.

Better missionary.

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I made it to the end of the podcast.  It was hard.  It was worth it.  I learned a lot and I know God sends me angels of all kinds to keep me motivated and I thank HIM for them.